I've been working in the food and beverage industry since I was 15 starting with working for my sister in law at her ice cream shop. I have also spent a whole lot of time in retail; I've sold books, clothes, unnecessary objects, groceries and more. In all of that time there have been many attributes common to the average diner/shopper, they are usually a bit impatient and assume that you are not real smart or why in the world would you be waiting tables or slinging sweaters. Having said that, most people do not enter a restaurant expecting a bad time; we go out to have fun, to enjoy the ambiance of wherever we choose to dine, to be social.
With all of this in mind I have created six rules of engagement for diners. Rules that if followed will not guaranty, but greatly enhance your dining experience. Remember it is not just the job of the server to make your night enjoyable, you have a hand in it as well.
Rules of Engagement for Diners
Rule 1: Be Specific.
A man and a woman walk into a restaurant for dinner. They've never been to this particular restaurant before, but they are accustomed to dining out. The décor is sumptuous--white table cloths, flickering candle light, soft music playing in the background just covering the murmur of conversations wafting through the deliciously scented air. The hostess greets them and guides them to an intimate corner table, hands them the wine list, the menus and invites them to "Enjoy." So far so good.
The couple opens their menus and the gentleman looks over the wine list as they wait for the server to arrive.
"Good evening and welcome to Restaurant X." Grasping their attention he launches into the daily specials, "Tonight the chef has created three fabulous specials for your enjoyment," and then goes into his routine spiel; asks if they have any questions about the specials and inquires if they would like to start dinner with a glass of wine. This is where the couple makes their first mistake.
"We've never been here," says the young man and asks, "What's good?" What's good? Everything's…good?! Good is synonymous with nice, nice is your neighbor that you say hello to on the way to the mailbox. Good is not explode in your mouth thank the gods of gastronomy that you have finally arrived at this restaurant so that you can have the best food you have ever put in your mouth. And let's face it, that's why you go out to eat, it's not so you can have the same thing you can make at home. Good is what you get from a fast food restaurant or jiffy stores, good is what you settle for when you can't get Great. What self respecting restaurant would be happy with 'good?' None that I know of.
Rule one: Be specific. Never ask what is 'good.' Not that you do not want to know what is good, just be more specific in your question. As in 'what is your favorite item on the menu?' or 'what is most popular?' or even ask which fish is freshest today--anything but 'what's good?' It should all be good or you would not have walked in the front door, you want to find out what is great--knock your socks off, wow I am so glad I ate here great, not what's plain old good.
Rule 2: Ask for what you do want, not what you don't want.
The waiter fortunately is used to this question so his recovery time is pretty quick. He responds to the young man, only slightly haughtier in his tone than when he first came to the table. "Everything is good. I recommend the chef's fish of the day or the steak. Both have been very popular this evening." The couple would like to purchase a bottle of wine, but they have not decided what they want for supper, so the server suggests they have a glass of champagne as an aperitif while deciding. They agree with his suggestion and toast to a good evening with the cool, bubbly champagne.
They have now decided what to have for dinner. Well sort of. "And what will we be having for dinner this evening?" The young lady responds, "I'd like the spinach salad but I don't want the nuts, cheese, onions or mushrooms with the dressing on the side and the chefs special fish. I don't like rice, so could you substitute the grits and I'd rather have the sauce from the menu fish, I don't particularly like what is on the special." Oh good lord…really? The gentleman smilingly offers "She's a finicky eater," and then orders his steak, medium, with no substitutions. The waiter smiles, walks away from the table and apologizes to the kitchen for his order.
I know you're thinking, 'Why can't I order exactly what I want?'
Rule Two: Ask for what you do want, not what you don't want. Let the chef guide you. There is no reason you can't get what you want, but consider this, the chef carefully crafts her entrees to be balanced and flavorful, getting the most out of the ingredients she is using, so the chances are that if you order what the chef has recommended, you will get a delicious meal. Read the menu, find the item that is closest to what you enjoy and order it. Take a chance…it's just food…it won't be with you in the morning. (Food allergies are a whole different ballgame, I am allergic to carrots of all things.) Be positive—"I would like a plain spinach salad with the dressing on the side and would it be possible to have the fish of the day prepared like the fish on the menu?" Much easier and you are asking for what you want, not what you don't want. You are taking a positive approach to the ordering process and not giving your date a reason to make excuses for you. Of course if it is just one item that you do not want, then it is certainly easier to ask for them to leave off that item, as in 'I would like the BLT without tomatoes.'
Stay tuned for rules three and four. Until then, continue to enjoy your very own Food Frenzies.
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